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forum Forum index forumThe Finished Fan Fics forumCUPID'S CHOKEHOLD

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Author : Topic: CUPID'S CHOKEHOLD  Bottom
 Randomness Punk
 Posts : 5
 Neeeeewbie
 Randomness Punk
  Posted 25/01/2007 11:08:56 PM
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*The alarm clock rang*

Adie got up to cook breakfast. She made the food extra good because Billie Joe was back from almost two years of being gone.
"Dammit!" Joey said as Jakob pushed him while playing the Nintendo DS which made him lose.

"JOEY don't treat your brother like that!"

Jakob looked at Joey with an evil glare. Joey shot back that 'shut the fuck up before I shove my foot up your ass' look. Billie Joe woke up with the 'what the fuck' look on his face.

He wasn't used to this 'family' thing anymore.

He had to get used to it.  

--Last edited by SJhenry_ on 2007-01-29 18:05:59 --

Stewie Griffin's Apprentice
 billieaholic_x
 admin
 Posts : 2551
 Adminey
 billieaholic_x
  Posted 26/01/2007 04:18:56 PM
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HAHA, thats good. I like how Billie had the 'WTF' look on his face

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/LPfanTM/teenat.gif

I love Billie Joe, you know?
 Cross Me Off Your List.
 Posts : 2003
 Suffocating
 Cross Me Off Your List.
  Posted 26/01/2007 04:24:26 PM
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It's good, but to be honest it would of been better if half of it wasn't written in IM language. You also need to capitalize at the beginning of each sentence and the proper nouns such as "Billie Joe" but other than that, it's pretty good.

Don't look up; just let them think there's no place else you rather be.
http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r285/in_the_parking_lot/thisismyonlyhope.jpg
 billieaholic_x
 admin
 Posts : 2551
 Adminey
 billieaholic_x
  Posted 26/01/2007 06:23:48 PM
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Yeah, I agree. It was kinda of confusing to read. Its still good

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/LPfanTM/teenat.gif

I love Billie Joe, you know?
 Cross Me Off Your List.
 Posts : 2003
 Suffocating
 Cross Me Off Your List.
  Posted 26/01/2007 10:37:05 PM
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Yes. Still good.

Don't look up; just let them think there's no place else you rather be.
http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r285/in_the_parking_lot/thisismyonlyhope.jpg
 Randomness Punk
 Posts : 5
 Neeeeewbie
 Randomness Punk
  Posted 27/01/2007 00:40:38 AM
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wtf...srry...i like to rite in im...i was in a hurry too so yeah..also i can say Billie instead of Billie Joe if i want and i dont have to capitalize each letter in the beginning of each sentace if i dont want to

Stewie Griffin's Apprentice
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
 Posts : 3512
 Walking An Empty Street
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
  Posted 27/01/2007 01:18:44 AM
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HAHAHAHA I love it nessa! haha that was good

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f162/Trust_the_Onions/Banners%20-%20Large/GreenDayBanner.jpg
DON'T TALK TO BILL COLLECTORS!!! THEY COLLECT BILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 billieaholic_x
 admin
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 Adminey
 billieaholic_x
  Posted 27/01/2007 11:35:53 AM
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LOL

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/LPfanTM/teenat.gif

I love Billie Joe, you know?
 Cross Me Off Your List.
 Posts : 2003
 Suffocating
 Cross Me Off Your List.
  Posted 27/01/2007 06:01:29 PM
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Quote :

Randomness Punk wrote : wtf...srry...i like to rite in im...i was in a hurry too so yeah..also i can say Billie instead of Billie Joe if i want and i dont have to capitalize each letter in the beginning of each sentace if i dont want to



whatever

Don't look up; just let them think there's no place else you rather be.
http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r285/in_the_parking_lot/thisismyonlyhope.jpg
 billieaholic_x
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 Adminey
 billieaholic_x
  Posted 27/01/2007 06:45:37 PM
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yeah, that was a tad bit rude but w/e

I think it was good. Super short but funny.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/LPfanTM/teenat.gif

I love Billie Joe, you know?
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
 Posts : 3512
 Walking An Empty Street
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
  Posted 27/01/2007 06:57:23 PM
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yeah, that was rude. all kristen did was give you some advice about proper grammer and you yelled at her.
which is why i edited it.  

--Last edited by xChelseyeyx on 2007-01-27 22:23:47 --

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f162/Trust_the_Onions/Banners%20-%20Large/GreenDayBanner.jpg
DON'T TALK TO BILL COLLECTORS!!! THEY COLLECT BILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 billieaholic_x
 admin
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 Adminey
 billieaholic_x
  Posted 27/01/2007 07:44:47 PM
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yeah

And its a funny little thing but its easier to read now since Jinxy edited it (thanx BTW)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/LPfanTM/teenat.gif

I love Billie Joe, you know?
 Cross Me Off Your List.
 Posts : 2003
 Suffocating
 Cross Me Off Your List.
  Posted 27/01/2007 08:18:32 PM
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Yeah, it makes such more sense now.

Don't look up; just let them think there's no place else you rather be.
http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r285/in_the_parking_lot/thisismyonlyhope.jpg
 billieaholic_x
 admin
 Posts : 2551
 Adminey
 billieaholic_x
  Posted 27/01/2007 08:22:42 PM
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*nods*

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/LPfanTM/teenat.gif

I love Billie Joe, you know?
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
 Posts : 3512
 Walking An Empty Street
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
  Posted 27/01/2007 09:00:28 PM
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Your welcome guys! lol

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f162/Trust_the_Onions/Banners%20-%20Large/GreenDayBanner.jpg
DON'T TALK TO BILL COLLECTORS!!! THEY COLLECT BILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 billieaholic_x
 admin
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 Adminey
 billieaholic_x
  Posted 27/01/2007 09:06:26 PM
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lol

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/LPfanTM/teenat.gif

I love Billie Joe, you know?
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
 Posts : 3512
 Walking An Empty Street
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
  Posted 27/01/2007 10:24:52 PM
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hehehe. i read it after i edited it and yeah, it's makes more sense when it's edited by someone that's not a teenie! yep! lol

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f162/Trust_the_Onions/Banners%20-%20Large/GreenDayBanner.jpg
DON'T TALK TO BILL COLLECTORS!!! THEY COLLECT BILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Cross Me Off Your List.
 Posts : 2003
 Suffocating
 Cross Me Off Your List.
  Posted 27/01/2007 10:28:43 PM
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haha, yup.

Don't look up; just let them think there's no place else you rather be.
http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r285/in_the_parking_lot/thisismyonlyhope.jpg
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
 Posts : 3512
 Walking An Empty Street
 Cheerio.Chelsea.
  Posted 27/01/2007 10:31:41 PM
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http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f162/Trust_the_Onions/Banners%20-%20Large/GreenDayBanner.jpg
DON'T TALK TO BILL COLLECTORS!!! THEY COLLECT BILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Cross Me Off Your List.
 Posts : 2003
 Suffocating
 Cross Me Off Your List.
  Posted 27/01/2007 10:47:21 PM
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King For A Day

Don't look up; just let them think there's no place else you rather be.
http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r285/in_the_parking_lot/thisismyonlyhope.jpg
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