CHAPTER 1
MY EVERYTHING

"And as this beautiful woman goes on,we shall remember her. Remember her beauty,love and how sincere she was..." I looked over at my two sons,Joey and Jakob. They were crying there poor little eyes out. I glanced at Mike and Tre. They were holding in tears just like me. It was a rainy, icky day in Minneapolis,Minnesota. Me, Mike, Tre, Joey, Jakob and other friends and family were all sitting here at Adriennes funeral. The day is October 8th,2009,2 days after her 41st birthday. She died from child birth after giving birth to our triplets, Jamie Rose, Micheal Edwin and Hannah Faith. As the preacher went on, I tuned out. I just sat there thinking. Thinking about everything. Everything we did. Everything I'll miss. At that moment I relized my life would never be the same. Tears started coming and I tried as hard as I could to keep them back. I had to be strong for Joey and Jakob. If they saw their dad cry they would feel even worse. But just the thought of Adie gone killed me. I kept telling myself everything would be ok and that she was in a better place...but that place wasn't with me. Tears started falling out of my eyes and there was no way I could stop them. I sat there listening to a droned out preacher and watching my sons cry the hardest they've ever cried while thinking about Adrienne and nothing else. I wished so badly for this to be a dream. A very bad dream. A nightmare. I would wake up to Adie besied me smileing the biggest smile in the world and everything would be ok. Everything would be alright. But that never happened and i realized I was alone. I felt so alone. All alone.
All alone.
It was the next day and Mike,Tre and I were sitting in my living room. Nobody was talking. What was there to talk about? If you walked into that room or any other room in the house, you could feel the tension. The awkwardness. The sadness and all the other emothions we shared. Mike finally broke the silence. He looked over at me, his eyes shineing from the tears. "I'm sorry" he choked out. "I'm really sorry" Tre looked over at me. I looked at Mike then at Tre. I couldn't take it. I started bawling and Mike took me into a hug. "Everyything will be alright" he cooed gently. "No it won't!" I blurted. "She's gone;gone forever! never coming back! I can't live without her! She was my everything!" Tre came over and sat on the other side of me as Mike released the hug. "Billie,you gotta think positive. It won't help if you keep thinking the nego-" "Whats positive about this?!?!" I asked. They were bothe silent. "See?!? Nothing!" "Well,do you wanna live your whole life mourning about this?" Tre asked in a calm but urgent tone. "You're gonna have to move on. I know it will be hard but you have to, for Joey, Jakob and the little ones." I wasn't even thinking, I was just blurting things out. "How am I supposed to look at Mikey, Jamie and Hannah without crying? I mean,they are the reason Adies gone. I couldn't do that. I can't do this." "Billie" Mike said "I know it won't be easy but you can't cry over this forever. I love Adrienne and I miss her like hell but you have to move on. We all do." "You have to get out of it" Tre said. They stayed a bit longer and then left. As soon as they did, the babies started crying. "uuuugh" I moaned. Tears welled up in my eyes. I can't do this I thought I can't take care of 5 kids all by myself. Hell, I can't even take care of myself without Adrienne. I got the triplets to go to sleep and put Joey and Jakob to go to bed and then went to my bedroom and crawled into my king-sized bed and layed there all by myself with the empty spot where Adie used to sleep. It first felt awkward and differnt being in there alone but then I looked over where she used to lay and tears welled up in my eyes. I shut the TV and lights off and sunk my head into my pillow and cried. I cried and cried and cried and cried until I was all cried out. I couldn't keep my eyes open after that and then I fell asleep and dreamed about her.  

--Last edited by TeenieHater86 on 2006-12-03 13:26:32 --

*CRIES* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs, misses the door and hits head on wall* OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAA!!!!!! MOMMY!!!! *rubs head*

hahaha, you hit ur head off the wall, haha. it gets much worse, lol. I'd have a box of tissues if I was you. *laughs mischeviously*

[couleur=#000ef0] y did u have to make 80 die sarah y?.........nnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....hey i just saw a weasel...oh wait that is s guy under a car screaming "jesus help sombody help me go dammit"...think i should help him?....ohh srry i got destrated...back to the story....and i was too paying attention....lol

lol. heres more

Chapter 2; An Emo World

It was 3 months later and things seemed to have gotten worse. Thetabloids ate this up. They already had a ton of rumours going around and it was completley pathetic. There is so much bull floating around in the media it makes life harder. All these magazines were asking me to do interviews and the papaprazzi are everywhere. Even fans are starting to annoy me. They'll come up to me on the street and stuff and instead of saying something like "I love your music" or "You rock" they say "I'm sorry about your wife" or "It's sad she had to die". I don't want fucking sympathy, I just want to be left alone. It's just depressing. All of this. I don't want hr to be gone. I need her so bad. I miss her. She was too young. She had so much to look forward to. She won't be here for her kids. She won't see them grow, get married, have kids and see our gradkids grow. Thinking about this made tears welt up in my eyes. I shook them off and tried to get my mind on something else. It was 11:00 in the morning on a nice summer day. I could hear laughing kids outside playing. I sighed. "Well" I said into the air "I guess I should get up"
I went downstairs to find Joey and Jakob watching TV while Mikey, Jamie and Hannah were still sleeping. "Turn the TV down a little bit" I told Joey, "I don't want 3 screaming babies" He forced a smile as he turned it down. We were quit for a while untill Jakob asked, "Why did Mommy die?"
uh-oh
Joey winced at the question but he looked up at me with questioning eyes. I looked at them both, then the ceiling and then the floor. "Mommy died because" I started. I felt tears but quickley stopped by pinching my arm as hard as I could. "Mommy died because..when your mom...when mommy gave birth to Mikey, Hannah and Jamie, something went"- I pinched myself again to stop the water works-"something went wrong while she gave birth ..something awfully happend ....and thats why mommys gone" The boys kept staring at me with there moms big brown eyes. Joey looked back at the TV trying to stop tears. "Oh" said Jakob and he looked at the floor. We sat there for a while in awkward silence untill Joey said, "schools coming again next week which means we get to meet our teachers" "Oooooh" I said, "sounds fun." Joey and Jakob smiled. "Yeah" Jakob said "Who are your guys's teachers?" I asked. I was dying to get a converstion flowing that wan't about Adrienne. "My teacher's Mr. Miller" Joey said. "Some kids say he's all right,he just gives a lot of homework." "Ugh" i said "That makes him not all right" I said. Joey laughed. "yeah, that's right" I smiled. It was nice to hear him laugh again. "Who's your teacher Jakob?" His eyes lit up. "Ms. Holles! Everyone says she's the nicest teacher in the school!" I smiled again. "Cool, sounds like you'll have fun." Jakob smiled and went back to watching Spongebob Squarepants.
It was late that night, about 12:45 pm, and I couldn't stand it anymore. I went downstairs and got a knife. I went back upstairs, into m yroom, shut my door and sliced my wrist. I cried out in pain. It hurt worse than what I thought. My mind raced in circles. I stared getting dizzy and I finally fell on my bed. I put my hand on my wrist and squeezed. I winced. I looked at my hand and it was all blood. It hurt so bad. I just wanted to get my mind off of Adie.
Well this just worked swell didn't it?
It was cut deep but not too deep. I layed there for a while but as soon as Adie came to mind , i cut my wrists again. About and hour and a half later and about 20 cuts later, my mind started to go. I was drifting to sleep but when I strted to dream about Adrienne, I opened my eyes. I cloed them and saw Adie. I moaned and sliced my wrist again. This time it was deep
really deep
Too deep
I cried out so loud I thought I might of oaken the boys up. Blood was all over my wrists and hands and the bed.It strted dripping to my shouler and up to my neck and down my cheek. It hurt so bad that when I started dreaming of Adie, I didn't have the strength to cut myself again. I sighed and went to sleep.
Cutting my wrists became a reutine for me. Everynight I did it. I kept the bloody knife under my bed. I started wearing only long sleeved shirts because I didn't want anyone to worry. Hell, I didn't want anyone to know. Working in the music studio became a drag. Work didn't flow easily. I couldn't think. I wasn't writing songs either. All I wrote anymore was "I hate myself" or, "I hate my life" over and over again. I didn't like going places anymore. I just sat around and thought. I thought about Adrienne, my kids, and everything else. Life just sucked to me. I hate everything. I hate life.
I hate me

"Daddy?" Jakob asked
I looked up. I was putting the knife under my bed. I must of been to weak and tired to do it last night. I stood up. "Yeah?" I asked as we walked out of my room. "Todays the day we go meet uor teachers" he said. I looked at the clock. "When?" Joey looked to "now" he said. I sighed "Ok, lets go then."
We were in the school, walking through the halls. Joeys class was 1st. We went inside theroom. I saw Mr. Miller and he looked like a combination of Mike Dirnt, Albert Einstein and Luigi all in one. I almost laughed uot loud when I saw him. He came up to us. "Hi, I'm Ken Miller, Joesphs teacher." He had a really deep robot-like voice. He put his hand out. I shook it. "I'm Billie Joe Armstrong, and this is Joey." Joey looked up athim like he Godzilla or something. Mr. Miller left to meet some other kids and parents. "Hes kinda creepy, eh?" I asked Joey. His eyes were still wide. "Yes, vey" I laughed. "Ok, Joey, I have to go see Jakobs teacher now. Just run along with some of your friends.....or your girlfriend.." Joey made a face "eew" he said. I laughed. "Just wait" he smiled and ran off. I looked at Jakob. "Ok, lets go" We went to Ms. Holless room but couldn't find her untill Jakob exclaimed, "There she is!" I followed where his finger was pointing. My jaw dropped. She had short black hair, blue eyes and a rocking body if I do say so myself. She looked at least 30. She came up to us. This was much better than Mr. Miller. "Hi, I'm Mindy Holles, Jakobs teacher" She said. She smiled and put her hand out for me to shake it. i shook it. "I'm Billie Joe Armstrong." She smiled again. "I know I'm a big fan."
I smiled. We stared at eachother for a while untill i came out of my little trance. "Oh, umm, sorry" Oh God, I am such a dick. "uh..this is Jakob!" I said trying to change the subject. "Oh!" said Ms. Holles coming out of her little trance. She bent down to get to Jakob. "Hi Jakob, your a cute little boy!" she said with a smile. Jakob grinned. "Hi Ms. Holles!" he exclaimed. I almost started laughing. He was so ethusiasic with her. Ms. Holles smiled. "Ok, Jakob" she said. "Can you run along and find your seat while I talk to your daddy?" She asked. "Ok" Jakob said dumbly and ran off. I smiled and looked at her. "Umm.." She started. "I know you've probably gotten this a lot already but...I'm sorry about your wife. I've been a fan of Green Day since Dookie and...you know.......I'm just really sorry." I almost started crying, I hate it when people bring it up. "Thanks" I said. "Its been hard but I'm gonna have to move on" "Exactly" she said quickley wishing she hadn't brought it up. "I'm glad to hear that" she added. I forced a smile. We started talking about the class and stuff but then we went to talk about music and family and friends, pretty much life. About 45 minutes, I looked at the clock. "Oh, I have to go" I said. I was surprised on how fast time went by....
(But remeber, the song All The Time. "Time flies when your having fun" )
She smiled. "yeah" "well, bye" I said
Oh, really smooth Armstrong...
"Bye" she said with a smile. Jakob and I started walking back to get Joey in Mr. Millers class when I finally just stopped. "Jakob go to Mr. Millers class and get Joey and then go straight to the car. I'll be there in a minute." I didn't even wait for an answer. I started walking down the hall;the way we came. I went back to Mindys room and went right up to her. "Hey, Mindy, could I like have your phone number?" She blushed but smiled. "Of corse" she said with a laugh. I smiled. She wrote it down on a piece of paper. "Thanks" I said. She smiled again "No problem" she replied.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW lol

lmao. Well, i have nothjing else to do. I'm geting ready for school (grr) so i'll just put chapter 4 up

Chapt. 4
Mixed Feelings

I was laying on my bed staring at the walls. I was actually happy because Mindy was such a nice girl. She was so cool. I layed for a while longer untill I realized what was happening. I was falling in love...again. I shook it off. I'm not in love, I just like her.
hmm
A few minutes went by of me just laying in my bed staring at the walls. Something felt like redundant; like I did this before but I couldn't put my finger on it. I layed a bit more untill I found myself humming 2,000 Light Years Away. "No!" I said outloud. "Not that." I sat up and put my head in my hands. "Oh Adie?" I said takling to air. "What should I do??" I felt kinda stupid saynig this outloud with no one there so I just fell silent for a while. The boys were at a sleepover and I was taking Mindy out on a date. I had mixed feelings about it. I was happy about it because I like Mindy and I got to hang out with her but I also felt upset by what the media will think. And what Joey and Jakob will think. I know they like Mindy, especially Jakob, but I can't imagine how awkward It would be if we started dating. And this isn't their mom. I sighed. I was so confused without Adie. I know Adie wants ne to be happy though. I looked at the ceiling. "Alright, Adie" I said. "Wish me luck."
I got into a long-sleeved shirt and jeans and went downstairs. I looked at the time. "Well" I said once again outloud, " I should go." I went out the door and into my car. I drove to her house and went to her door. I took a deep breath. God, I haven't done this forever I thought. "Ok, Armstrong" I said outloud as I rung her doorbell. "Don't fuck up." I felt like I was gonna piss myself. My mind was scraming COME ON MINDY, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO ANSWER THE DOOR! but right when I ended that brain thought, she answered the door.
Once again, my jaw almost hit the floor. She was wearing a short black dress and black heels and her hair was curled. I smiled. "Hi" I said. She grinned. "Hi" she said back. "Well, lets go." I said. She smiled and nodded. We went to a nice dinner spot and then we went back to my place to hang out. We were in the living room watching TV. And nothing was on. I turned it off. "Nothings on" said Mindy with a chuckle. I smiled. I liked her laugh too. We sat there talking for a bit untill we ran out of things to say. We sat for a while in silence and I just couldn't take it anymore. It was like Adrienne was telling me to do it. I leaned over and gave her a kiss and I thought that maybe she felt it was to forward but, surpriseinly, she started kissing my back. IT led to a big make-out setion and, I kinda missed that
Once again, to my surprise, she asked me, "Wheres your bedroom?" I looked with her with a raised eyebrow. She smiled and laughed. "Upstairs...." I said. She pulled me up by the shirt and up the stairs. We started laughing on how stupid this was. We got into the bedroom and into the bed.
"So you don't follow the whole 'don't have sex the first date??" I asked. She laughed. "Sometimes I do.... sometimes I don't." I smiled. At the same time we started undressing. We laughed at that, dumbly. When it came to my shirt I stopped. I forgot about my cuts. Mindy noticed. "Whats wrong?" she asked. "Umm" I started. "I don't feel very good.." I lied. She put a sad face on. "Aww, sorry about that." I forced a smile still feeling like something was wrong. She looked at me. "No, seriously, whats wrong?" she asked. I looked at her confused. "Oh, come on Billie." she said. "I know you're lieing, now whats wrong??" I roled over from my back to sideways so I could face her. "Well, since Adrienne died-" "OH BABY!" Mindy almost screamed. "I knew I shouldn't of asked to come to the bedroom! I'm sorry I was too forward! Its just that I really like you and I wanted to make you happy or at least-" "no, no, no, no,no! You weren't being forward!" Now she looked at me confused. "Then why did you lie to me?" She asked. She looked hurt and I didn't like that one bit. "Its just that...when Adie died...and had no one and felt all alone..I was depressed...very depressed..so depressed......and I couldn't get Adrienne off my mind..so I started-" I rolled up my sleeve to reveal a series of cuts. Mindys mouth dropped. "I started-" "Oh God" she said in a quiet but in a panicky kind of voice.
I had mixed feelings about showing her this. It was a good thing because it felt good to get it off my chest but I felt bad because now she was worried and upset and I didn't want that. She looked up from the cuts to me. "How long have you been doing this?" she asked in an angry yet worried tone. "I started like a month ago.." I answered. "Well....have you stopped?!?!" She asked. I decided I was just gonna tell her the truth all the way through. "I haven't done it as much since i've met you." I said. She forced a very weak smile. "Mindy, i'm sorry I had to tell you straight out like this but-" "Billie" she interuppted. "I think I should leave you alone I think you have issues you need to work out and get through. I can tell you still love Adrienne-which is completley understandable-but I shouldn't be with you if you do." she said.
My heart dropped.
She got out of bed and started putting her clothes back on. "It was stupid of me to be so forward" she said. "No, no, Mindy you weren't. I was-" "Billie, please. I made a mistake. It was stupid" she picked up her bag. "I think you should get better...I want you too...I love you" she said as she leaned down and kissed me. "But I can't do this and I know you can't either" I looked up at her with nothing to say. "Bye Billie." She left before I could say anything. I could hear her car start.
"Bye Mindy" I said outloud but to no one.
"Bye Mindy" I said again, through tears as I heard her car drive off.

I love it!  I love all of the drama!  I hope Billie Joe is okay!  Gahh!  Please post more soon!

LMAO, i'm bored sooooo....heres more

Chapter 5
The Suicide Attempts

Slit after slit after slit I was making on my wrists. It was 2 weeks after the break up with Mindy and I still felt like shit.
Slit, slit, slit, slit.
These were just small ones of corse, If they were bigger, I probably would of fainted by now. I sighed. "Look what you've become, Armstrong" I said outloud.
"Just a littlel emo bastard."
I kept slicing though. The skin was starting to really tear. It was bleeding badley but all it really was was just burning. It felt like when you fall and land on your hands and they turn red and burn really bad. Finally I stopped and placed the knife under my bed. I looked at the clock. 1:00 in the morning
hmm
I sat there for a while, drifting off into "my world" when, all of a sudden, I got an idea. I went to my closet and lookedin the bow of the things my mom said my dad wantes me to have. They were all his things, of corse, like pictures, necklaces and some other close memories. I dug to the bottom and pulled out his old pistol.
Bingo
I stood up and closed the closet door. I put the gun on my bed and went to see if the kids were asleep. They were sound asleep. They left their doors open so I shut them tight and the I went back to my room and shut the door. I sat on my bed and fiddled around with the gun. On the side was a piece of tape that had my dads initials, 'AMA' written in pen.
hmm
Was it loaded? Yep, 5 bullets
hmm
"Well, Armstrong" I said outloud. "It's now or never." I slowly stood up, put the gun to my head and said a short prayer. My finger was on the trigger. ....getting ready to press it..............
The phone rang
"Damnit" I said outloud. I let the answering machine pick it up.
It was Mike
"Hey man, its Mike. You haven't been at band practice and stuff for a number of days, well weeks, and we're all worried about you. Could you call me back later?? bye."
I stood there, with the gun to my head and my heart dropping.
I shook it off, put the gun right to my head, closed my eyes, said a short prayer and was ready to shoot....
I couldn't do it now.
"Fuck" I said as I through the gun at the closet door. I sat down and put my head in my hands. I started crying. I cried and cried and cried untill I finally fell over on my bed. I started dreaming about Adrienne. Then Mindy.
Adie, Mindy, Adie, Mindy, Adie, Mindy, Adie, Mindy, Adie......

(This part of the chapter is in Mikes Point of view)

We're never gonna get any of this done" Tre said. I sighed. "Yeah" I said in agreement. It was yet another work day at the studio and, once again, Billie wasn't there. Which was very odd because Billie under any circumstance would not miss one day of work. My cell phone rang. "hello?" I said
It was Billie.
"FUCK!" I shouted, amazed that he was calling me.
"Where have you been??....Is everything ok?!?!" I asked. "Mindy broke up with me" he said, with no emotions. I sudden;y felt really bad for yelling at him earlier. "aww, man, I'm really sorry.....what happened??" I asked. He was quiet for a while untill he said, "umm, I guess seh couldn't handle me or something.." "Oh" I said really fast, wanting to change the subject. We talked a bit longer untill we said good bye and hung up. "what, what, what, what??" Tre asked, anxiously. "What he say, what happened??" "he said Mindy broke up with him" I said bitterly. Tres faced dropped. "Oh" he said quitely. "Yeah. oh" I said. We sighed
I hated this

(The rest of this chapter goes back to Billies point of view)

It was over a month since Mindy and I split and I was still depressed over it. It was late, about 12:30, when the gun came into my mind again. I looked over at it. It was still laying at the closet door where I had threw it a few weeks ago. I looked outside my dor and down the hall to see if the kids doors were closed. They were so I went back into my room and shut the door. I picked up the gun for the 3rd time. I put it to my head and said a short prayer. I had the gun ready and had my eyes closed, ready yo shoot. "1....2...-"
"Dad?"
I opened my eyes to see Joey with his eyes barley open, staring at me. He yawned and wiped his eyes. "What are you doing dad?" I froze. I had no idea what to do. I felt like I was a 16 year old boy who jusy got caught having sex with a prostitute. Joey kept wiping his eyes, trying to be able to see. He opened them up, and I guess he got a preety good view because he shrieked, "Dad?!?!"
I just blinked.
I took the gun away from my head and sat down on my bed. Joey ran up to me and tried to grab the gun away from me. Afriad that he night accidentl shoot it I didn't let him get it. All of a sudden, there was a gunshot.....then another.....the blackness....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HATE YOU SARAH!!! LOL

whoops! it looks like I streched the board.....again *SIGH* LOL

haha....and.....heres more

Chapt. 6
A Piece Of Glass

(This part of the story is in Mindys point of view)

"And then the gun went off, shooting Billie in the arm and ankle." Mike said to me over the phone. "Is he ok?" I asked a bit worried. "He's in the emergency room right now" he replied. "I'll be there soon" i said in a hurry. "Ok" he replied, dumbly. We said goodbye and then I hung up. I was a bit worried. My plan wasn't working. He wasn't supposed to be a jackass and get shot. He is a dumbass, I thought, and thats why I'm not in love with the guy. All I have to do is fake it, get married to him, and get all that sweet money. Its a great plan. My stupid ass husband of 3 years dosen't even know.
haha
I put my shoes and coat on and went to the hospital. I found Mike, Tre, Joey and Jakob all there. Joey was crying and I started to feel kinda bad. I went to him and he took me into a hug. "it's ok, Joey, everything will be fine" I said. That was the best I had. "No it won't" he said. "I shot my dad. I shouldn't of tried to get the gun. It was stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stu-" "sssh" I said, interupting him. I thought for what my little lie was gonna be this time. "It was all just an accident, Joey. Just a big accident." I waited a moment, trying to think of something else to say. "And it was a good thing you tried to get the gun because your dad could of been hurt REAL bad" I said. He quieted down for a bit. He sniffed and wiped a tear. He looked at me and a gave him a forced smile. I looed over at Jakob. Tears were just falling out of his eyes. "Come here" I said to him in my fake little sweet voice. He came over to me and we hugged. When we finished hugging, I stood up. "We'll we're gonna go" Tre said, showing no emotion. "I'm gonna go to Billies house and get Mikey, Hannah and Jamie and then take them and Joey and Jakob to my house" Tre said. I nodded. We all said goodbye and then I sat down on a bench. I didn't know what to say to Billie Joe. I had to think of a few sweet little lies to say and shit like like, trying to be his dream girl. I took a deep breath before walking in. I walked in and went to his side and sat down. "Hi baby" I said to him with my nice little sweet smile. "Hi" he replied. I started rubbing his atrm for comfort. I had to think of what I had planned to say. "Awww, baby...I don't know what I would of done...I mean if you-"
"You're the reason I did it, Mindy" he interrputed
I just stared at him waiting for an answer. "I wouldn't of done this if we hadn't of broken up" he said with no emotion. I was startled at that reply and I had no idea thats what he was gonna say. I had to think of something else. "Oh, Billie, I'm sorry, I-" I started my perfect fake sob. Billie just blinked. Crap, I thought. I started crying really hard. He really didn't seem to care. I got up and walked out of the room. "Shit!" I yelled as I got out of the room. I wiped one of my fake tears away. "I want his fucking money" I said out loud. I got into my car and drove off furiously.

(The rest of this chapter goes back to Billie Joes point of view)

I just layed there. I felt pretty mad at myself for making her feel bad and cry, but I just spoke the truth. I sighed. I hated this. My wife of so many years dies and then I get into a relationship to fast and then I fuck it up. I was so stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid. I sighed again. This was so boring. I didn't just wanna lay there for the whole day, I had to do something. I just wanted everyone to be happy. I didn't want anymore forced smiles. I layed there for a while thinking about how bad my life was untill I got a great idea. I looked at all the IV and other cords they had in me and I ripped them all out. I winced but it didn't hurt all that bad. I didn't wnat them shoving som loopy stuff in my veins. I stood up and opened the door. I looked down the hall. clear
good
I started walking down the hall but it turned into a run. I was gonna get out of here.
Somehow
I kept running untill somethnig caught my eye. It was a piece of glass nd it was of pretty good size. It was, stupidly, laying on the floor. Not thinking, I picked it up and sliced my wrist with it. I cried out ni pain. I heard footsteps. I turned around to see what it was. There was a docter. He glanced at my bloddy wrist and then turned pale. "Mr. Armstrong, please drop the glass" He said in a shakey voice. I looked to my left. A bathroom. I went in there and locked the door. I heard him screaming 'help' over and over untill the alarm went off. I closed my eyes and I slowly started slideing to the floor. I sat for a while, sorting things out in my mind. I heard docters and nurses running towards me. I heard them outside the door. They were knocking and asking me to come out. I got into the bath tub and kept citting my wrists. There was a lot of blood in the tub. And all at once I just started crying. I cried about everything. I never actually cried about this situation. I cried untill I heard Security Gurads banging on the door. They were ramming into it, trying to break it down. I looked around in panic. Before I could get up out of the tub to try and do something; anything at all, the door broke down and I was caught red-handed.
Literally.....

lol red handed...literally good one sarah! Oh....Wait....am I supposed to be crying??? OH YEAH!!! *CRIES* I had NO IDEA that all Mindy wants was his money! this is a good story sarah! I think ur better at writing GD fan fics than me! lol  

--Last edited by xXJinxieJinxXx on 2006-12-02 13:15:49 --

heh heh

more....

Chapter 7
The Worst Day
PS. Get your tissues.....

I was released from the hospital about a week later. I was going to therapy but I didn't tell the therapist anything. Well, sometimes I'd swear her out but thats it. It was mandotory for me to go there and I didn't see why. The government said I wasn't in good enough condition to take care of the kids so they were going to go live with Adies best friend, Jenny. They already took Jamie, Mikey and Hannah. Joey and Jakob would go tommarrow. See, the thing I didn't understand was they all wanted me to stop cutting my wrists and being suicidal but the things people did make it all worse. Like when Mindy broke up with me. She thought she was helping me when she just made it worse. And like taking my kids away is gonna help. I sighed. I had gone to Tres house and I was coming back to my house. It was late, about 12:30 PM. I got out of my car. hmm. I thought. Thats weird, the kids are still awake, all the lights are on. I walked into the house to silence. "Joey??" I called out. "Jakob?" I called. I walked into the living room. No one. "Guys, where are you?" pure silence. I went upstairs into their rooms. Nothing. I went into my room. Nothing. When I was about to shut my door I saw somthing missing....my gun.
My knees felt weak and my throat went dry. I walked back into my room to sit down. I felt sick. I tried to rember if I left it smoe place else. I searched all around the room. No where. At that moment I knew they had the gun. But I was so confused. Why would they havethe gun? What are they doing with the gun? WHERE ARE THEY??? That was the main question. "Dad?" I heard. It was very faint and suonded far away. I followed the voice. It was in the bathroom. There, I found them. They were laying on the floor. Joey had the pistol in his hand and his stomach was covered in blood. I quickley looked at Jakob. He had blood on his chest. The only thing I could say was "why?" Joey looked at me and said, "we missed mom.....and we thought you were dead" With that last sentance he also took his last breath. Tears started falling out of my eyes. "Joey?" I asked. "Joey" I said again. I looked over at Jakob. I felt his pulse. He had been dead for almost an hour, he shot himself right in the heart. I got up and called 911. Then I cried. The pain of seeing one of your children die is undescribable. They were too young. They had so much life. I can't live like this, I thought, I just can't do this anymore.
We were at the funeral then. This was Joeys, tommarrow was Jakobs. It was a hot day in California. Staring at my sons lifeless body reminded me of the day, 6 months ago, when we were at Minneapolois for Adriennes funeral. I sighed. I felt tears coming and I couldn't hold them back. The fell out of my eyes like rain from the sky. I glanced at Mike and then at Tre. They were both crying.

*CRIES* ANYONE HAVE A TISSUE ANYONE!!! THE ONES SARAH GAVE ME EARLIER ARE ALL GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just finished reading the last 3 parts and I started crying!  You are a great writer!  Keep it up!

thanx guys!!! more later, lol

I was bored, so I read the whole story over again and I cried even harder.  This is such a great story and I love it.